A taste of a work-at-home mom's life

Today, I stayed home with my sick little girl. It started suddenly on Saturday night with the symptoms of an oncoming cold. Sunday morning I was on the phone with my mother and Telehealth Ontario to see what was wrong with my little girl. She had had a horrible barking coughing fit when she woke up and ended up upset and in tears; as was I. Telehealth, after a thorough investigation, informed me it was a case of croup that could be treated at home. However, she was not to go back to daycare until her fever was gone.

Monday morning came and though she was feeling better, another coughing fit and an ill look to me meant I was going to stay home and do whatever I could to take care of my daughter in her weakened state.

I had already given my managers at the office a heads up that this might happen. My follow up email rung true of the rest of my day: I would try my best to follow up with my emails (which conveniently come to my blackberry, by the way).

We spent our morning curled on the couch while my little one dozed in and out of consciousness and I tried to type one-handed over her shoulder. As the day went on and my demand increased (by work and a sick little girl) I wondered how on earth work-at-home moms get any actual business done without help! Well, by the end of my evening I think I figured out how - they never stop working. Instead of a solid 8 hours at the office, an hour commute home and then another, oh, 3 with the family, it's a day with interwoven streams of child care, conference calls, document writing, meal planning sprinkled with play time and timesheets.

What I've learned from this is though I love the comforts of being home with Abby and DH more when I work from home, I undoubtedly either get less done in a regular work day or am working on all things right until bed time. And while I miss them while I am away, there is a certain je ne said quois about my shared office which not only makes getting work done more efficient, it means I love coming home to my family even more.

Bliss at Home '11 introduction

Today I discovered a group of blogging women that I am sure to love. Via Erica Ehm at www.yummymummyclub.com, I found Bliss at Home. For all those fellow bloggers who can't go to Blissdom, but don't mind attending from a far, and in their PJ's, no less!

As an introductory post for all the ladies who find themselves wanting to learn a little bit more about me and my blog, here I go.

This blog was founded in 2009 after DH and I learned we were expecting our first baby. Initially a journal and online baby book, my intentions were small - chronicle the growth and development of my child. The name "the mommy bee" comes from the nick name "baby bee" that we gave our active little child growing inside me (with the B also coming from the first letter of out last name). In 2010, when the end of my maternity leave loomed near, I began changing my approach. I could never find a blog of a new mom who worked full-time out of the home. I guess none of them have the spare time! At that point I knew I needed to change directions and be that blog.

Now, while I still take the time to talk about my family and the new learnings of a first-time mom and the growth of my child, I also want to speak about balance. I am a project manager, so organization is essential to my life.

I hope readers who find themselves here can learn with me and even lend a helping hand. After all, I am a busy mommy bee!

Making Milestones

We've hit a few new milestones recently, so I need to share!

Abby is now fully a walker. From the time she was able to hold her head up, everyone thought that she would be an early walker. She stood early and loved to stand. She loved to have someone hold her hands and walk, no gallop, around the room. But, in true Abigail fashion, she is doing it in her own time. So, a week after turning 16 months old, Abby decided to start walking on her own. It started with a few steps before Christmas and a crash on her bum that probably didn't make walking too appealing. Then, one day, we were playing with an exercise ball, and she started to chase it; no strings attached. Since then, she has progressive gotten better and less Frankenstein-like in her steps. I'm sure soon she'll be off running. She already loves to say "one, two, three...GO" and skitter off as we pretend to race.

Our second milestone has to do with teeth. Abby's teeth are popping out very quickly now. She has her two upper molars to go along with the first set of 4 teeth up top. In the past week she also managed to push through her bottom right molar as well. Then, last night as we were playing, I noticed that Abby also had her upper left incisor. Her left side needs to catch up, but at this rate, it will happen sooner than later.

Lastly, DH and I finally went out on our first "real" date night since Abby was born. We left her with my mother and took in a Leafs game. While the date night was great, and Abby had a great time with "Nana", but again, we had sleep problems. Abby fell asleep easily as was expected, but after an hour, woke up looking for me. The rest of the night she cuddled with Nana until we got home. While not a total inconvenience, it's shown us that we have some more work on sleep training to do before we leave her at home with someone else.

In the end, we're making great progress in growth as a family. I am thrilled to discover what's next!

Reflecting on 2010

A new year is upon us and it's generally the time that we all sit back and reflect on the past year. I have to admit, that I'm trying hard to remember all the highs and lows of the past 12 months, but such a blur that it was, it's hard to focus.

I started 2010 waking up at midnight to my husband saying "Happy New Year" and my 4 month-old daughter staring up at me on our bed with a smile. Such were the days where she was waking up every two to three hours, demanding to be fed only to pass out once her tummy was full. Not much about that has changed now that's it's 2011, however she's graciously letting me sleep in much longer stretches (when she's not teething, that is).

In the beginning of the new year right through to June, I juggled getting some sort of order in my life as a new mom and managing the redesign, rebuild and launch of a new website for my father's company.

After coming home from a long-weekend trip in May, I began my search for a job, knowing that maternity leave would have to end some time. At the same time, I began to mentally prepare myself for leaving my baby, who I had been with 24/7, with a stranger. In July, while on a family vacation, I finally got the call and on August 16th, 2010, I began my new job. On September 7th, her first birthday, Abigail started daycare.

Between then and now, Abigail has gone from a chatter box of nonsensical sounds (I can prove it here) to a chatter box who can actually communicate with real words.

Ok, maybe not ALL the time, but she's a great story-teller.

I have seen a little life blossom in front of my eyes. I had no idea what to expect beyond what I read in articles and books, but to experience it has been the most incredible experience and most life-changing year of my young life.

2010 was a time of learning, changing, growing, stretching, adapting and loving. I can't wait to see what 2011 will bring!

Our daily routine

Email blogging again. I find it's a great way to compose a post and pass time on the subway trip home.

I have found after going back to work that the most precious thing after God and family is time. I didn't have much of it before I became a mom, so I surely have less of it now.

Our "day" really begins the night before. DH works nights, so he leaves at 10:35pm every night. Thereabouts, I also go to sleep. If I'm lucky, I've fallen asleep as he is getting ready and wake just enough for him to kiss me goodbye.

7:15am rolls around and he is back home. I get up and get ready for work, and DH gets Abby ready for daycare. I pack her lunch bag (something I want to start doing the night before) and by 7:50am, we are out the door and on our way.

I usually get into the office just after 9am and DH is home after dropping us off at our various locations by 8:30am. He wakes up, unfortunately, at 2:30 (a mere 6 hours of sleep if he's lucky) and picks Abby up at 3. We do this for several reasons. The first is to save a little bit of money because we pay an hourly rate. The other is so that DH has more time with Abby.

I try to leave the office as close to 5 as possible and we are usually home no later than 6:15pm. From there it's dinner for all of us and playtime before bed. Abby usually falls asleep when DH comes to pick me up, so she doesn't go to bed at 7pm like a lot of parenting resources say toddlers should.

Abby is usually asleep around 8:30, which leaves me two hours to shower, tackle a to-do item or just relax. Then it starts all over again.

This does leave little room for essentials like cleaning, cooking, laundry, groceries and others, but I'm still learning and expect to be for a long time.

I have had to learn to relax when it comes to our daily routine, but not to be so lax that nothing gets done. On the flip side, I wish I had more energy to prep the night before so our mornings are less chaotic. That all being said, I think that for 3.5 months of figuring the balance out, we're doing pretty well.

Do you have a daily routine that you follow? How does that work for your family? What do you wish you could improve on?

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Making it through the day

I can't lie, even the best plans don't always go according to your best intentions. When I started back at work, I had a rough idea of how we wanted to do things. Abby was still taking two naps a day and I was still nursing her. The first several weeks, in fact, meant that my body went through some major adjustments as well.

Gone were the days of mommy-baby nap times, nursing on demand and having to sit for nearly 8 hours in the same spot. So how did I do it? I made an idea of a plan and filled in the gaps as we went through each experience.

My body learned to sit in an office chair, though the back pain on the first day made it nearly impossible to sit still. I also got Abby used to nursing only once a day, and eventually my body slowed down the milk-making. I also re-learned what it meant to stay awake longer. I was no longer tiring myself out holding and chasing a baby and instead did a mental workout. Just as tiring, but without the muscle aches.

Here I am, 3.5 months after and I am claiming that reclaiming my work life while adapting to being a first-time parent can be done. We just need to talk about how to do it more.

I have to have the people I work with understand that I really can only be in the office 9-5. My husband also understands that because of this, I sometimes have to take my work home with me. But most importantly, everyone needs to know that being a Mom comes first. Abby misses me so much, that when I finally get home, she doesn't want to let me go. So even though I am away, making a living and reclaiming my career, she doesn't care. I am mom and among all other things, I always will be.


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Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

What it's like

I have been back to work now since August 16th of this year. To prepare myself from being with Abigail 24/7 to only a few waking hours in the day, I did what any internet-savvy person would do: I googled it.

My goal was simple - find a blog where I could learn from another woman's experience about going back to work after having their first child. So far, every woman I spoke with in person had told me horror stories about bawling their eyes out the first day or having a rough transition. And these were predominantly women who were going back to a job they had before - I was starting a brand new one. So, needless to say, I was also searching for some encouragement.

No such luck.

So here I was, the weekend before beginning my job and adding the title of Project Manager at a large ad firm to my list of other names (mother, wife, sister, aunt, nieces, daughter...can I put these on my business card?) And I didn't know how to handle it. We had gotten a private in-home daycare spot through a woman in our church, but that was still a few weeks away. I had packed and planned and gotten myself and Abigail as prepared as I could for day 1.

Then day 1 came. There was no crying. DH's brother came to take care of Abby and I went off to work. Abby happily and blissfully unaware watched cartoons while I slipped out. That wasn't so hard! Of course I missed her terribly and called as frequently as possible to see how she was and by the end of the day I ached to see her, but it wasn't as tragic as expected.

A few weeks later, when she started daycare, it was a bit harder. This time a stranger would be looking after my little girl. I felt like I was letting someone raise my child. Getting into the car some days after dropping her off were really hard and I had to fight back tears. Those would turn into moments of joy when I would see the look on her face at the end of the day. She still loves her Mommy.

So as hard as it was in concept, the transition wasn't the sob-fest I had anticipated. I can actually do this! And it makes the time I do have with my family all the more precious and important to me.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
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