Friday, December 10, 2010

Our daily routine

Email blogging again. I find it's a great way to compose a post and pass time on the subway trip home.

I have found after going back to work that the most precious thing after God and family is time. I didn't have much of it before I became a mom, so I surely have less of it now.

Our "day" really begins the night before. DH works nights, so he leaves at 10:35pm every night. Thereabouts, I also go to sleep. If I'm lucky, I've fallen asleep as he is getting ready and wake just enough for him to kiss me goodbye.

7:15am rolls around and he is back home. I get up and get ready for work, and DH gets Abby ready for daycare. I pack her lunch bag (something I want to start doing the night before) and by 7:50am, we are out the door and on our way.

I usually get into the office just after 9am and DH is home after dropping us off at our various locations by 8:30am. He wakes up, unfortunately, at 2:30 (a mere 6 hours of sleep if he's lucky) and picks Abby up at 3. We do this for several reasons. The first is to save a little bit of money because we pay an hourly rate. The other is so that DH has more time with Abby.

I try to leave the office as close to 5 as possible and we are usually home no later than 6:15pm. From there it's dinner for all of us and playtime before bed. Abby usually falls asleep when DH comes to pick me up, so she doesn't go to bed at 7pm like a lot of parenting resources say toddlers should.

Abby is usually asleep around 8:30, which leaves me two hours to shower, tackle a to-do item or just relax. Then it starts all over again.

This does leave little room for essentials like cleaning, cooking, laundry, groceries and others, but I'm still learning and expect to be for a long time.

I have had to learn to relax when it comes to our daily routine, but not to be so lax that nothing gets done. On the flip side, I wish I had more energy to prep the night before so our mornings are less chaotic. That all being said, I think that for 3.5 months of figuring the balance out, we're doing pretty well.

Do you have a daily routine that you follow? How does that work for your family? What do you wish you could improve on?

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Making it through the day

I can't lie, even the best plans don't always go according to your best intentions. When I started back at work, I had a rough idea of how we wanted to do things. Abby was still taking two naps a day and I was still nursing her. The first several weeks, in fact, meant that my body went through some major adjustments as well.

Gone were the days of mommy-baby nap times, nursing on demand and having to sit for nearly 8 hours in the same spot. So how did I do it? I made an idea of a plan and filled in the gaps as we went through each experience.

My body learned to sit in an office chair, though the back pain on the first day made it nearly impossible to sit still. I also got Abby used to nursing only once a day, and eventually my body slowed down the milk-making. I also re-learned what it meant to stay awake longer. I was no longer tiring myself out holding and chasing a baby and instead did a mental workout. Just as tiring, but without the muscle aches.

Here I am, 3.5 months after and I am claiming that reclaiming my work life while adapting to being a first-time parent can be done. We just need to talk about how to do it more.

I have to have the people I work with understand that I really can only be in the office 9-5. My husband also understands that because of this, I sometimes have to take my work home with me. But most importantly, everyone needs to know that being a Mom comes first. Abby misses me so much, that when I finally get home, she doesn't want to let me go. So even though I am away, making a living and reclaiming my career, she doesn't care. I am mom and among all other things, I always will be.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

What it's like

I have been back to work now since August 16th of this year. To prepare myself from being with Abigail 24/7 to only a few waking hours in the day, I did what any internet-savvy person would do: I googled it.

My goal was simple - find a blog where I could learn from another woman's experience about going back to work after having their first child. So far, every woman I spoke with in person had told me horror stories about bawling their eyes out the first day or having a rough transition. And these were predominantly women who were going back to a job they had before - I was starting a brand new one. So, needless to say, I was also searching for some encouragement.

No such luck.

So here I was, the weekend before beginning my job and adding the title of Project Manager at a large ad firm to my list of other names (mother, wife, sister, aunt, nieces, daughter...can I put these on my business card?) And I didn't know how to handle it. We had gotten a private in-home daycare spot through a woman in our church, but that was still a few weeks away. I had packed and planned and gotten myself and Abigail as prepared as I could for day 1.

Then day 1 came. There was no crying. DH's brother came to take care of Abby and I went off to work. Abby happily and blissfully unaware watched cartoons while I slipped out. That wasn't so hard! Of course I missed her terribly and called as frequently as possible to see how she was and by the end of the day I ached to see her, but it wasn't as tragic as expected.

A few weeks later, when she started daycare, it was a bit harder. This time a stranger would be looking after my little girl. I felt like I was letting someone raise my child. Getting into the car some days after dropping her off were really hard and I had to fight back tears. Those would turn into moments of joy when I would see the look on her face at the end of the day. She still loves her Mommy.

So as hard as it was in concept, the transition wasn't the sob-fest I had anticipated. I can actually do this! And it makes the time I do have with my family all the more precious and important to me.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

The Mommy Worker Bee

Ever since I got the call that I had been offered a new job, I have been on the search for a mommy blogger like me. Someone who is heading back to work after a year of blissful maternity leave (because once I went back to work, I began to yearn for the simpler days of mat leave) and were doing it for the first time.

These mommy worker bees are not difficult to find. Any google search will come up with tons if results. My issue is that they all seem to have older kids.

I didn't grow up with the example of a mother who worked outside of the home. My own mother, bless her heart, raised all 4 of us and that was all she needed. I don't blame her. However I also don't have the same example from my mother-in-law. She stayed at home raising 4 boys and didn't go back into the workforce until my husband was 12.

So, now - am back to my search. I almost feel like I should be taking out a personals as or posting in the "missed connections" section of craigslist.

Where are the new mommies of the internet world and where are their blogs?

Perhaps they are like me, and as a friend so poignantly put it: maybe they are all too busy to blog?